stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
