he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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