I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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