Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
