...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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