It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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