I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
