My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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