why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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