he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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