Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
