That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
