Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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