i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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