We're facebook friends in real life
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
