he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
