do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
