Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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