If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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