Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
