her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize
