Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
