Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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