He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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