I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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