No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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