I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
