im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
