you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
