need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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