My brain says no but my pants say off.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
