the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
