you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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