..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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