She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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