your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
