i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
