The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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