KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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