quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
