do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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