dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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