It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
