It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
