Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't think brook has ever known best
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
