I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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