I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
