Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
