Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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