You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
