Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The maid of honor just puked.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
