So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
