Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I could fuck to npr.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
