his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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