If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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