yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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