They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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