What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
