Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
